Relationships...yes BGR
Man i'm SO free in camp today lol. *Looks around making sure no one around to see this*
Boo... Been a crazy month with tons of work and other what nots pinning me down. Finally get a breather NOW, yes only now, just finished giving lessons and tying down some administrative stuff for the Open House coming up in my camp.
Right, the topic, Relationships... BGR.
I look around me, i hear about the on-goings in church, among the youths. What is everyone's understanding of BGR? What does it mean to be someone's boyfriend or girlfriend? What do 2 people who get together to become boyfriend and girlfriend actually want to achieve at the end of it all?
Does anyone who gets into a relationship actually give some thought into this?
Is it just because of physical attraction? Yes i hear a collective voice sounding out "No!" Its more than just her large luminous expressive eyes, his engaging smile, her bell like laughter, his confident walk, the way she snuggles up to me, the way he puts his arm protectively around me. I'm sure.
Is it because of personality/character then? I see some heads nodding. Yes, we have the same interests, we have the same beliefs, we both take things easy, we both want to be successful, we enjoy each other's company, his positive outlook brings hope to me, her gentle nature draws me to protect her...
In actual fact, most of us can't do without one or the other. Someone with the looks but none of the character? Someone with the personality but none of the looks? Hmmm... We rather settle for something in between if we can't get the perfect one with all of the personality and the looks. Perhaps a more common looking one but with the character. Or perhaps the one with looks and some of the character (if i ignore the undesirable traits).
I believe, everyone has some idea of the perfect partner. Our dream partner. Who coincidentally also sees in us his/her perfect partner. Perfect isn't it?
How many of us realise our dream?
BUT
Would you lead a perfect fairy tale life if you do realise the dream?
Would you not have a perfect fairy tale life if you don't?
We have the same answers. Which brings us to the question so what is that X-Factor to a fairy tale relationship? To walk down the beach one day when we're both grey and wrinkled, hand in hand...
At this point of time, given my age and limited experience, i want to believe that this X-Factor is our understanding towards relationships itself. It determines the amount of effort we are willing to put into the relationship, the level of commitment we are ready to give, the amount of time we spend each day thinking of our loved one, our willingness to go whatever lengths to bring a smile to him/her...
For the teens, are you really ready to think about marriage? If not, is this really the right time to have a BGR? Imagine inviting your friends to your wedding one day then realising you had kissed or made out with most of the friends (of the opposite sex) present in the past before you met your spouse... Dreadful.
Is a BGR to us lifelong (or is divorce an option?)
Where does it stand in my life? (Work first? Self first?)
What about him/her attracts me? Are these traits that would withstand the passing of time?
I believe, and want ot believe, that if two people with the same understanding come together, given the right mix of physical and non-physical attraction, their love would endure forever.
Problems at work, trying to make ends meet everyday won't stop the husband from thinking of his wife at the end of the day and stopping by the flower shop to buy just ONE stalk of her favourite flower.
Frustration from disciplining the kids and taking care of them won't stop the wife from welcoming her husband at the door when he returns and planting a kiss on his lips saying I missed you!
You do not have to MAKE it seem like the relationship works. Cos it really does. You do not cry yourself to sleep and hope for a better tomorrow. You do not dread going home to a partner who doesn't understand the problems you're facing now.
Can you be sure that the person holding your hand today, who's so understanding now will also be, 20 yrs down the road? Can you really know when u're both just schooling? Probably not, although you might hit the right one by pure chance, but then how many of us actually win at jackpot? Will you know when both are working adults then? Well... only if you are not blinded by "love".
It takes time for two people together to realise if they are meant for each other. And it is only possible if both are able to keep the relationship simple. I'm sure you know what i mean by simple... Anyway in case you don't, sex induces a false sense of being loved. The more you feel unsure of the relationship, the more you try to maintain the fiction of love through sex. And ya... if he or she's the first one... you would tend to make yourself believe he or she IS the one even though gradually as time goes by you realise he/she's probably not the one after all.
In today's world, the simplest way for girls to find out if the guy really does love you is to see if he can wait till the wedding night to you know what. They say "You know i love you... if you love me too, please give it to me now." You should be saying "If you really love me, as i do, then please let us wait till we're married." But of course there's a problem if the girl wants it too hahaha...
I once read that a courtship that ends with a break-up is still successful, because you found out that you are not meant for each other before marriage. Many people try to force themselves to make it work. Why? Can you maintain it for the rest of your life?
You know, i feel that i'm drifting from the main topic somehow, and the tone has kinda turned lecturer type lol... Man i've always had this problem. Bleah...
Anyway... from my own experience ya, i realise that it takes patience to find true love. It really takes time to know a person. No you do not have to cohabit to find out if you guys can live together. Through pure, simple dates, with time, you would know, in your heart.
To live happily ever after. A dream? Perhaps. But i sure hope not! ^^
(PS. As a Christian, my true X-factor (besides all the rest of the jazz) would be whether my other half loves God as i do. I strongly believe, that if we both love God with all our hearts and help each other grow in Christ, our love for each other would similarly grow and blossom!)
Boo... Been a crazy month with tons of work and other what nots pinning me down. Finally get a breather NOW, yes only now, just finished giving lessons and tying down some administrative stuff for the Open House coming up in my camp.
Right, the topic, Relationships... BGR.
I look around me, i hear about the on-goings in church, among the youths. What is everyone's understanding of BGR? What does it mean to be someone's boyfriend or girlfriend? What do 2 people who get together to become boyfriend and girlfriend actually want to achieve at the end of it all?
Does anyone who gets into a relationship actually give some thought into this?
Is it just because of physical attraction? Yes i hear a collective voice sounding out "No!" Its more than just her large luminous expressive eyes, his engaging smile, her bell like laughter, his confident walk, the way she snuggles up to me, the way he puts his arm protectively around me. I'm sure.
Is it because of personality/character then? I see some heads nodding. Yes, we have the same interests, we have the same beliefs, we both take things easy, we both want to be successful, we enjoy each other's company, his positive outlook brings hope to me, her gentle nature draws me to protect her...
In actual fact, most of us can't do without one or the other. Someone with the looks but none of the character? Someone with the personality but none of the looks? Hmmm... We rather settle for something in between if we can't get the perfect one with all of the personality and the looks. Perhaps a more common looking one but with the character. Or perhaps the one with looks and some of the character (if i ignore the undesirable traits).
I believe, everyone has some idea of the perfect partner. Our dream partner. Who coincidentally also sees in us his/her perfect partner. Perfect isn't it?
How many of us realise our dream?
BUT
Would you lead a perfect fairy tale life if you do realise the dream?
Would you not have a perfect fairy tale life if you don't?
We have the same answers. Which brings us to the question so what is that X-Factor to a fairy tale relationship? To walk down the beach one day when we're both grey and wrinkled, hand in hand...
At this point of time, given my age and limited experience, i want to believe that this X-Factor is our understanding towards relationships itself. It determines the amount of effort we are willing to put into the relationship, the level of commitment we are ready to give, the amount of time we spend each day thinking of our loved one, our willingness to go whatever lengths to bring a smile to him/her...
For the teens, are you really ready to think about marriage? If not, is this really the right time to have a BGR? Imagine inviting your friends to your wedding one day then realising you had kissed or made out with most of the friends (of the opposite sex) present in the past before you met your spouse... Dreadful.
Is a BGR to us lifelong (or is divorce an option?)
Where does it stand in my life? (Work first? Self first?)
What about him/her attracts me? Are these traits that would withstand the passing of time?
I believe, and want ot believe, that if two people with the same understanding come together, given the right mix of physical and non-physical attraction, their love would endure forever.
Problems at work, trying to make ends meet everyday won't stop the husband from thinking of his wife at the end of the day and stopping by the flower shop to buy just ONE stalk of her favourite flower.
Frustration from disciplining the kids and taking care of them won't stop the wife from welcoming her husband at the door when he returns and planting a kiss on his lips saying I missed you!
You do not have to MAKE it seem like the relationship works. Cos it really does. You do not cry yourself to sleep and hope for a better tomorrow. You do not dread going home to a partner who doesn't understand the problems you're facing now.
Can you be sure that the person holding your hand today, who's so understanding now will also be, 20 yrs down the road? Can you really know when u're both just schooling? Probably not, although you might hit the right one by pure chance, but then how many of us actually win at jackpot? Will you know when both are working adults then? Well... only if you are not blinded by "love".
It takes time for two people together to realise if they are meant for each other. And it is only possible if both are able to keep the relationship simple. I'm sure you know what i mean by simple... Anyway in case you don't, sex induces a false sense of being loved. The more you feel unsure of the relationship, the more you try to maintain the fiction of love through sex. And ya... if he or she's the first one... you would tend to make yourself believe he or she IS the one even though gradually as time goes by you realise he/she's probably not the one after all.
In today's world, the simplest way for girls to find out if the guy really does love you is to see if he can wait till the wedding night to you know what. They say "You know i love you... if you love me too, please give it to me now." You should be saying "If you really love me, as i do, then please let us wait till we're married." But of course there's a problem if the girl wants it too hahaha...
I once read that a courtship that ends with a break-up is still successful, because you found out that you are not meant for each other before marriage. Many people try to force themselves to make it work. Why? Can you maintain it for the rest of your life?
You know, i feel that i'm drifting from the main topic somehow, and the tone has kinda turned lecturer type lol... Man i've always had this problem. Bleah...
Anyway... from my own experience ya, i realise that it takes patience to find true love. It really takes time to know a person. No you do not have to cohabit to find out if you guys can live together. Through pure, simple dates, with time, you would know, in your heart.
To live happily ever after. A dream? Perhaps. But i sure hope not! ^^
(PS. As a Christian, my true X-factor (besides all the rest of the jazz) would be whether my other half loves God as i do. I strongly believe, that if we both love God with all our hearts and help each other grow in Christ, our love for each other would similarly grow and blossom!)
posted by Justus at 3:14 PM
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